Saturday, February 4, 2012

The Unborn 2009

responsible parties
David S. Goyer (The Invisible)
David S. Goyer (Jumper)
Odette Yustman(Cloverfield)
Gary Oldman (Air Force One)
Meagan Good (Stomp the Yard)

"Jumby wants to be born now" um ok....... Imagine the kid pictured above telling this to Casey, who resembles Megan Fox although not nearly as sexy, and then imagine the weirdo kid hitting her. It's pretty funny, and dumb. It is also the beginning of a very bizarre and cliche wanna be thriller that's all over the place and yet still formulatic. Unfortunately the movie had way too many ideas that should have been "unborn".
 At least we get some eye candy along with Casey is her best friend Romy, played by Megan Good.
Apparently Meagan Good has been trying to expand her career because usually she plays the pretty gf in all her flicks so she chose to go the horror route. She's having bad luck, being cast in other shitty movies like this  one such as One Missed Call and Saw 4. Yikes!
Soon after Casey is attacked by that ugly kid Romy notices that her right eye looks weird all of a sudden.  To the audience its clear that all she has to do is take out the obvious contact but Casey goes to the optometrist and discovers she has a rare eye condition that is usually common in twins. After asking her father he reveals that she was a twin but her other half died early in uterine.... He also reveals that her mother and him nicknamed him "Jumby". What an atrocious name. Gross. Casey's father is never heard  from again for the rest of the movie. Shocker. Her mother committed suicide many years ago but it is never revealed why. Lame.
As the mystery that no one cares about unfolds Casey struts around in her white cotton panties and lays in bed with  her boyfriend. More weird shit happens. Casey starts seeing things. She suddenly decides to go see her grandmother, who is currently living in a rest home. Grandmother tells her a ghost has been haunting their family for decades that even dates back to the Holocaust. The ghost supposedly can only enter the world through a twins body, although several non twins are possessed by said ghost throughout the movie...... Caseys' grandma was a twin herself but she killed her other half when he became possesed........ Apparently the ghost has been hovering and waiting ever since. For some reason Casey  enlists a Rabbi to perform some sort of Jewish exorcism.  I'm not sure why she needs an eroxrcism, the ghost isn't in her.....ok?.....Our Rabbi is played by Gary Oldman whose movie career has many hits and misses, here's another. To sum it all up Everyone around Casey dies. Her sexy friend, her boyfriend, the rabbi and the people he enlists to help. I always find that funny in a movie that the people that came to help the main character always die.
The ending leaves me puzzeled, but instead of wondering "OMG whats gonna happen next"? I wonder "OMG what just happened (in the past 90mins)?"
"Casey finds herself pregnant at the finale. She's having twins. Guess the ghost is now after her unborns...... Good riddance. If you're thinking about watching this flick, do what I should have done, abort that idea quickly.


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